Alright – I crashed out in my crappy room that reeked of smoke!  I smoke, and the smell was almost unbearable for me.  I woke up pretty early the next morning, and I decided to have breakfast.  I think I needed some comfort food, so I opted for scrambled eggs, bacon, and coffee.  While that might seem like a reasonable request, you better thing again!  This is Thailand (TIT)!  The eggs were a sloppy mess.  The bacon was limp and flavorless.  The coffee … well … those of you that know Thailand know that it came as Nescafe.  Little did I know that it would cost a premium to get a brewed cup of coffee. 

Well, I ate the food, and I set out to find a new room.  I was in awe of my surroundings.  Hell, I had no idea what was going on as I stepped onto the street.  I knew that I should not go back down that horrific sight that was before me, Khao San Road.  If I thought it was busy the night before, I hadn’t seen anything like this.  Vendors were busy setting up their stands for the day.  The police were blocking off the road.  Now there was no neon.  There was nothing but the hustle and bustle of a big city. 

I didn’t really know Soi Rambuttri at that time, but I headed to the left.  I saw the Wat.  I didn’t realize that I could have saved quite a bit of time by cutting right through it.  The first street I came to was Soi Rambuttri.  I decided to turn left.  It might have been about 9:00 am.  I walked very slowly trying to assess my situation.  I got to that Bamboo Bar and found myself in shock!  There was this group of westerners intermingled with scantily dressed Thai girls … all of them drinking beer and carrying on very loudly.  In part I was jealous, but I wondered how in the hell this was possible.

Nonetheless, I had a mission … I needed to find a new place to stay.  I wandered past 7-11 to the corner.  I passed the corner, and I saw a friendly sign.  It read Bella Bella House!  Hey, I thought to myself, this is the guidebook.  Let me check that place out.

I walked past all of the other guesthouses, and when I got to Bella Bella I was shocked that I needed to take my shoes off.  I didn’t want to lose my precious $100 Chaco sandals.  I took them off anyway and asked about a room.  They showed me a room upstairs which even had a window.  It overlooked the wat.  I could look down on the street below me.  The bed was clean.  It was cheap.  I had to share a bathroom, but this was much, much better than where I was now!  I talked to the guy and told him to save me the room.  I said I just needed to grab my bags, then I would come back.  I told him to keep the room for 30 minutes …. I would be right back!

I walked quickly back to Rainbow.  I packed up my things and checked out.  I got my deposit back.  I then rushed back to Bella Bella the long way.  The room was still there – I think it was 206 – I can’t remember even though I have stayed in that room several times now!  I paid my key deposit and filled in the needed paperwork!  I was happy now, but I was alone!  What was I to do?

Well, I decided to see the grand palace and all of that jazz.  I thought I would take the river boat, so it took me some to find that.  I made it alright.  I got hassled a bit by tuk-tuk drivers, but it didn’t phase me.  I was determined to go on foot.  I did the temples that day, and then I decided that I needed a few beers.  Jetlag was setting in pretty heavily and the heat was getting to me.  I drank alone at my guesthouse before taking a nap!

I awoke in a few hours.  It was about 10 pm.  I looked out my window as I smoked a cigarette.  I saw a woman on the street who had set up some tables and decided that sitting there would be a whole lot better than sitting in my closet sized room.  So, I went down and spent the night with her.  Her kids came.  We got drunk.  She got me to eat something that I had no clue about.  It turned out to be pork skin, but hell … it was too spicy anyway. 

The next day, I decided to go to MBK and see Sukhumvit.  I was curious about Nana and Soi Cowboy, but I was much to fresh to go in the evening.  I thought the afternoon would be a good time for me to go.  I walked to the Khlong Taxi, and got off near Siam Square.  I saw MBK and all of that before walking to Soi 4.  I stepped into Nana, but I really didn’t get the whole picture that early in the day.  I proceeded to Soi Cowboy on foot.  I picked up some Doxycycline on the way.  I never took it, but I thought I would need it.  I walked the length of Soi Cowboy in the early afternoon and tried to imagine what it was like in the evening.  I took the skytrain back to the boat, and I headed back to my guesthouse.

I ended up drinking a few beers on KSR before heading back to my neck of the woods behind the wat.  It was cheaper back there.  After a few beers, I decided it would be a good idea to go see Patpong – jeez – what was I thinking????  I arrived there, and I was in a state of shock.  I walked through the market that is Patpong Soi 1 at night and reached the other end when I was approached by a man who spoke very good English.  After being pressured so much, I finally cracked.  I decided to go to the bar with him!  This would prove to be a mistake, and I often tell this story!

I followed the Thai man I had found at the north end of the Patpong soi to the left.  I have been back since, and the establishment is no longer open.  We headed to a small soi on the left with a couple of girls sitting outside.  The all greeted me happily.  I sat with the man and order up a beer chang.  I really should have looked at the price, but I was nervous.  The guy asked for a beer, and I offered to buy him one.  I firmly told him that I would only stay for ONE beer and then I was gone.  All of a sudden, the mamasan sat down at the table.  I was the only customer.  The beer came, and suddenly a whistle came out of nowhere!!!

So, about 30 or 40 girls were immediately lined up in front of me.  Of course, they all had numbers pinned to them.  I wasn’t prepared this, so I did what any self respecting male would do when faced with such a problem!  I picked the girl with the biggest tits to have a seat with me.  I was at a loss. 

The girls sat with me.  The man and the mamasan both departed, and the girl asked for a drink.  I said yes, and I got myself another beer as well.  This was one good looking girl.  Almost immediately, she began pressuring me to go for a short time!  Out of curiosity, I asked her how much it would cost.  She came back with a quick 2000 baht.  I told her she was insane, and she countered by asking for another drink.  Like an absolute idiot, I said yes and got a beer myself. 

After about an hour she came down to 1500 baht, but I said no thank you.  Add on 400 baht for the room and 500 baht for a barfine, and I simply told her I couldn’t afford it.  I was a backpacker after all.  I wanted to go.  Suddenly, mamasan decided to sit down and try to talk me into it.  She offered all kinds of discounts in terms of barfine, drinks, etc.  When I said no, she quickly got up and got my bill for me.  Not surprisingly, it came to about 2000 baht!  There was nothing I could do.  The door was blocked.  I talked her down quite a bit, but the 1200 or so it cost me was my budget for a day.  I would have to make it up.

So, I went back to KSR via taxi.  I thought I would just splurge since I had spent so much money already.  I sat with the same woman I talked about before outside of my guesthouse.  Two other backpackers (I think) showed up to drink.  We spilled quite a few bottles of Chang.  We ended up on a mat somewhere on Soi Rambutrri.  The last thing I remember is sitting with them.

Thankfully, I was wearing my flip-flops at that time.  The next thing I know, I was awake in the police station!  I knocked on the door at about 10:00 am.  The opened the door, and they handed me my receipt for the fine I was supposed to pay.  They had already taken the money out of my wallet.  I could not remember for the life of me what had happened.  I asked them where my sandals were.  The just told me to leave.  I pushed the issue, and they finally said they don’t know what happened to them.  After an hour of this, I decided to walk back to Bella Bella without shoes.  Yes, I did!  I walked on those shitty ass streets with no shoes! 

I walked in and went directly to bed.  I slept all day and all night!  To this day, I swear there were drugs involved.  I have never slept like that before.  I didn’t drink that much, and those who know me will know that I am not lying about that.  Thankfully, I had my expensive Chacos in the room!

I awoke at 4:00 am.  I recalled my reading on Tales of Asia and realized that I could make it to Koh Kong pretty quickly if I left early.  I hated, absolutely hated, Thailand.  I walked to 7-11 and grabbed a chocolate milk while I thought about it.  While I sat outside, a parked taxi driver approached me – “where you go today?” – I replied that I had no idea.  I was in some kind of haze.  Again, I must have been drugged.  I told him I wanted to go to Ekkamai!  He said “ok – we go now”!  I told him that I need to walk back to the room, pack my bag, and then I would return.  He said he would wait.

Well, it seemed like a sign, so that is what I did.  I will follow up in my next installment!